Dodgers Make SHOCKING MOVE, Hire Ippei Mizuhara as Roki Sasaki's Interpreter

The Los Angeles Dodgers have officially signed Ippei Mizuhara as the personal translator for their new star pitcher, Roki Sasaki, according to multiple sources. The terms of the unique contract are set for one year, with Mizuhara receiving zero payment. Instead, 1,000 hours of community service will be deducted from his ongoing prison sentence, a creative arrangement allowing Mizuhara to return to the sports scene he loves.

This signing marks Sasaki as the 33rd Japanese player to have Mizuhara as his interpreter, setting a new record in MLB, Japan, and the interpreting world, as confirmed by Statfax. The Dodgers have planned to accommodate Mizuhara's sentencing by enabling him to participate in press conferences and interviews via video calls from prison, using Skype or Zoom depending on the day's connection quality.

"I'm excited to work with Ippei. He's the best there is," said Sasaki through his temporary interpreter, Will Ireton, who might have slightly fumbled the translation. Mizuhara, speaking from prison via Zoom, expressed his joy, saying, "I'm just happy to return to the game I love, you can bet on it."

Shohei Ohtani, a close friend of Mizuhara, couldn't contain his excitement, stating, "My best friend is back!"

With Mizuhara's new role with the Dodgers, there's a potential for significant impact on his prison sentence. By engaging in this high-profile position, Mizuhara might demonstrate good behavior and commitment to rehabilitation, which could lead to further reductions in his sentence or even an early parole consideration. This unique arrangement not only benefits Mizuhara by keeping him connected to baseball but also showcases a progressive approach to inmate rehabilitation through meaningful work.

Mizuhara has also been rumored to appear in Season 3 of Netflix's popular Squid Game series, adding to a busy offseason for the formerly disgraced translator.

With Ippei Mizuhara by his side, Roki Sasaki is poised for a stellar season with the Dodgers. Mizuhara's unparalleled experience in translating for Japanese players in MLB will ensure seamless communication between Sasaki and his coaches, teammates, and the media. This could lead to Sasaki posting better numbers, potentially lowering his ERA from last season's impressive 2.02 to an even more dominant sub-2.00, increasing his strikeout rate, and improving his win-loss record. The comfort of having Mizuhara, who understands the nuances of both cultures, will undoubtedly boost Sasaki's confidence and performance on the mound.

Note: This did not really happen, as far as we know.