BREAKING: Mest Part Ways with Soto Due To Slow Pitch Softball Debacle

In what can only be described as the most bizarre decision in baseball since somebody thought it was a good idea to wear stirrups, the New York Mest have officially yanked their contract offer from under the feet of Juan Soto. Why, you ask? Because the slugger dared to foul out in a slow pitch softball game. Yes, you read that right - softball.

The Mest, in a statement that could only come from a team that's had more ups and downs than a yo-yo on a caffeine binge, blamed their scouts for this monumental oversight. "We sent our best scouts last year, and they assured us Soto was the real deal," said an unnamed Mest official, who probably wishes they hadn't opted for anonymity after this fiasco. "But if he can't even hit a slow pitch softball, how can we trust him with an MLB fastball?"

The reaction from the Mests' fanbase, or should we say Mest fans, has been nothing short of a nuclear meltdown. Here's a taste of the heartbreak:

• Sad Fan #1: "I had his jersey made already. What am I supposed to do with a 'Soto 22' now? Throw it in the fire like my dreams?"

• Angry Fan #2: "Are you kidding me? We're canceling a contract over a softball game? The front office needs to go back to softball themselves because they sure don't know baseball!"

• Bewildered Fan #3: "So we're judging a World Finals contender based on a charity event? This team is a circus, and I'm not even getting clown makeup for the price of admission."

The Mest's decision has left fans questioning not just the team's scouting department but their entire strategy. "Maybe our scouts should stick to watching T-ball games," suggested one fan, while another quipped, "If we're doing this, let's just draft the best players from the little league world finals."

The fallout from this decision has fans either tearing their hair out or laughing in disbelief. Social media has been ablaze with memes of Soto in softball gear, captions like "Mest scouting dept. in shambles" trending faster than a fastball from Lil' Moto.

As for Juan Soto, he's probably having the last laugh, or at least a good chuckle, watching his market value soar as other teams line up to offer him deals with no strings attached to slow-pitch games.

Fun fact: Juan Soto currently ranks 527th in the league in batting average on off-speed pitches, per Statfax.