Cancun Power Rankings: Week of June 29, 2026

The Cancun Committee held another emergency meeting this week, and according to sources, several members had to ask for additional ballot space.

Between historic losing streaks, franchise sales, retirements, PED suspensions, players being traded to foreign governments, and enough defensive miscues to fill an instructional video titled How Not to Baseball, this may have been the strongest week of Cancun résumés all season.

One thing remains certain: winning is temporary. Cancun is forever.

Here's this week's Cancun Power Rankings.

Top 10 — Cancun Championship Favorites

1. North Japan Samurai (141–0, NPB)

Another week. Another impossible accomplishment.

The defending Cancun champions improved to 141–0, but the biggest headline wasn't even on the field. Tony Ohtani reportedly became the first person in human history to perform successful Tommy John surgery... on himself... between innings... before returning to throw a 31-strikeout perfect game. As if that wasn't enough, he later hit a baseball so hard that astronomers briefly classified it as a near-Earth object before confirming it landed somewhere in the Pacific Ocean.

Meanwhile, Lil' Moto, Eric Sim, and Ippei Mizuhara continue launching baseballs into orbit on a nightly basis. At this point, North Japan isn't competing against baseball teams—they're competing against physics.

2. South Japan Samurai (115–19, NPB)

South Japan remains comfortably at No. 2, and Joey Ohtani somehow found another way to steal headlines.

Just days after becoming the first player to intentionally hit a baseball through the South Japan Dome roof, Joey reportedly announced before batting practice that he was going to hit a home run that would land in another time zone. He then proceeded to do exactly that, with tracking technology estimating the ball traveled over 900 miles before landing somewhere near the Australian coast.

Off the field, rumors continue swirling that Joey has been secretly hanging out with Sydney Sweeney, making him arguably the hottest name in all of international sports.

3. Kansas City Royals (35–50)

The Royals reach their highest ranking of the season after what may have been the defining Cancun moment of 2026.

Kansas City was officially eliminated from regular MLB playoff contention after suffering a stunning 222–1 loss to the White Sox on Friday, catapulting them all the way to No. 3.

The fallout didn't stop there. In a corresponding move, the New York Mest acquired the Royals franchise in exchange for Mrs. Mest the mascot and Mark Vientos, giving the Mest ownership of yet another professional sports organization.

If there were ever a textbook example of building a Cancun résumé, this was it.

4. New York Mest (35–50)

The Mest continue climbing after another unforgettable week.

The organization officially fired Carlos Mendoza, replacing him with Don Mattingly, who somehow now manages both the Phillies and the Mest simultaneously.

Pitcher Kodai Senga submitted a trade request, while outfielder Juan Soda continued his unique defensive approach by making multiple errors while visibly counting stacks of cash in the outfield.

The club also committed an unbelievable 60 errors in one game against the Cubs, setting a new MLB record.

Even with all of that, ownership still insists the season is "going according to plan."

5. Colorado Rockies (33–52)

Colorado continues climbing thanks to another unforgettable week.

Catcher Hunter Goodman was suspended 80 games after testing positive for PEDs following a weekend in which he blasted three home runs against the Twins. League officials announced the positive test shortly after the series concluded, instantly strengthening the Rockies' Cancun résumé.

At 33–52, Colorado continues proving that no lead, no game, and apparently no drug test is ever safe.

6. Los Angeles Angels (36–50)

The Angels hold steady despite another eventful week.

The organization continues insisting everything is under control despite Mike Trout carrying the offense, ownership rumors involving Mr. Beast and IShowSpeed, and enough bizarre storylines to fill an entire reality television season.

The Angels may not be the worst team in baseball, but few organizations are as consistently entertaining when things go wrong.

7. San Francisco Giants (35–49)

Up four spots after another beautifully dysfunctional week.

The Tony Vitello Era somehow continues getting stranger. The biggest headline came when Rafael Devers refused to leave first base for a pinch runner during a game against the Marlins. After coaches finally convinced him to come off the field, Devers reportedly dodged every congratulatory slap on the backside from teammates while walking through the dugout, creating one of the most awkward moments of the MLB season.

On the field, things haven't been much better. The Giants continue sinking in the NL West standings while finding increasingly creative ways to lose games, making San Francisco one of baseball's fastest-rising Cancun contenders.

Peak Cancuning.

8. Atlanta Braves (49–33)

Biggest risers of the week.

For the first time all season, the Braves officially enter the Top 10.

Atlanta went an astonishing 67 consecutive innings without scoring a run, setting both an MLB record and a franchise record. Frustrated ace Chris Sale has reportedly requested a trade after receiving virtually no run support.

The news gets worse.

Ronald Acuña Jr. ("Wheelchair Wonder") remains sidelined after announcing his retirement earlier this month. Spencer Strider is still injured. Rookie Drake Baldwin has gone completely ice cold since returning from the injured list.

And then there's Bryce Elder, who somehow allowed 199 runs over his last 13 innings, another MLB record.

With the club now officially eliminated from regular MLB playoff contention, the Braves have finally arrived exactly where no one expected them to be: Cancun.

9. Toronto Blue Jays (40–45)

The Blue Jays continue climbing after another turbulent week.

Veteran ace Mac Scherzer's historic 35,000th strikeout is already a distant memory after Shane Bieber was designated for assignment following a game against Houston in which he surrendered back-to-back-to-back home runs.

Then things somehow got stranger.

Disgraced closer Jeff Hoffman was reportedly traded to North Korea after throwing away an attempted pickoff at third base, turning a routine play into one of the most confusing transactions in baseball history.

Toronto continues finding creative new ways to remain relevant.

10. New York Yankees (48–36)

The Yankees remain inside the Top 10 after one of the strangest weeks in franchise history.

Second baseman Chazz Jizzums was fined $670,000 by Major League Baseball for eating a lollipop on the field, proving once again that no distraction is too small when building a Cancun résumé.

The Yankees also suffered a devastating four-game sweep at the hands of the rival Red Sox, a collapse significant enough to push them into the Top 10 for the first time all season.

It's taken nearly three months, but New York has finally embraced the spirit of Cancun.

The Rest of the Field

11. Detroit Tigers (36–49)

The Tigers narrowly miss the Top 10 after another productive Cancun week.

While the club has finally shown occasional signs of life, Detroit remains buried in the AL Central standings. The biggest storyline continues to be life after Justin Verlander, whose retirement earlier this season still hangs over the organization. Fans have accepted reality: October baseball will almost certainly require a passport.

12. Seattle Mariners (43–43)

The Mariners continue proving that mediocrity is an art form.

After briefly looking like AL West contenders, Seattle has settled comfortably around .500 once again. The clubhouse reportedly remains divided over Josh Naylor's confrontation with former teammate Austin Hedges, who famously told him, "Literally no one likes you," after accusing Naylor of intentionally sticking out his arm to get hit by a pitch.

Honestly... that's about as Cancun as it gets.

13. Boston Red Sox (37–46)

The Chad Sox remain one of the strongest teams just outside the Top 10.

Winning a few games has slightly damaged Boston's Cancun résumé, but poor defense continues carrying the workload. The defining moment came against Colorado when Jarred Duran somehow committed seven errors on a single play, turning what should have been a routine single by Jake McCarthy into a walk-off triple.

Only the 2026 Red Sox could pull something like that off.

14. Portland Pickles (0–0)

Still undefeated. Still impossible to evaluate.

Still rumored to have Dillon T. Pickle hitting batting-practice home runs farther than commercial aircraft typically fly.

The Pickles remain baseball's greatest mystery.

15. Long Island Ducks

The Ducks continue hovering just outside serious contention.

16. Baltimore Orioles (39–47)

Baltimore continues drifting.

The offense flashes just enough to avoid complete disaster, while the pitching staff continues reminding everyone why they're here in the first place. The Orioles remain one of the most quietly consistent Cancun organizations in baseball.

17. TBD Athletics (40–45)

The Athletics continue proving that .500-adjacent baseball helps absolutely nobody.

Neither good enough to contend nor bad enough to dominate the rankings, TBD remains trapped in baseball's version of purgatory.

18. Cincinnati Reds (39–44)

The Reds continue slipping after another frustrating week.

While the offense occasionally explodes, consistency remains nonexistent. The club continues teasing competence before immediately reminding everyone why they're still featured in the Cancun rankings.

19. Minnesota Twins (41–45)

The Twins have become the definition of average.

Every week they seem destined either to climb toward the Top 10 or disappear entirely from the rankings, yet somehow they never accomplish either. Six games under .500 remains baseball's least exciting record.

20. Pittsburgh Pirates (43–42)

The Pirates continue sabotaging an otherwise respectable Cancun résumé by refusing to completely fall apart.

Off the field, however, things remain chaotic. Reports now indicate Lizzy Dunne has allegedly moved on from Paul Skenes, with Reds players Spencer Steer and Tyler Stephenson both rumored to be dating the social media influencer after delivering run-scoring hits against Skenes during Cincinnati's win on Friday.

If true, that's a devastating week both on and off the field.

21. Arizona Diamondbacks (42–42)

Exactly .500. Exactly average.

Exactly where no serious Cancun contender wants to be.

Arizona continues refusing to commit either direction.

22. Washington Nationals (43–43)

The Nationals continue finding increasingly creative ways to finish every week exactly where they started.

They're not bad enough to rise. They're not good enough to matter.

They simply exist... which somehow may be the most impressive accomplishment of all.

23. Houston Astros (42–45)

The Astros continue falling after what has become one of the strangest seasons in franchise history.

The 80-game PED suspension of Yordong Alvarez continues hanging over the organization, while the offense has struggled to consistently replace his production. About the only positive development recently remains Lizzy Dunne liking Cam Smith's Instagram post, which Astros fans continue insisting counts as a clubhouse victory.

Houston still has plenty of Cancun potential, but they'll need another rough stretch to climb back toward the top.

24. St. Louis Cardinals (43–38)

The Cardinals continue existing in baseball's most frustrating category.

They're too good to be serious Cancun contenders and too inconsistent to scare anyone in October. Every week feels exactly the same: respectable baseball with very little excitement.

25. Cleveland Guardians (44–41)

The Guardians continue paying for months of competent baseball.

Getting swept by the Yankees for the first time all season briefly gave Cancun supporters hope, but Cleveland quickly returned to winning enough games to remain well outside serious contention.

They simply refuse to commit.

26. Miami Marlins (45–40)

Perhaps no team has hurt its Cancun résumé more over the past month.

The Marlins are now the first team in MLB history to win a World Series in June, and somehow haven't lost a baseball game since May. Miami has gone from elite Cancun contender to one of baseball's hottest clubs almost overnight.

Congratulations... we guess.

27. Chicago Cubs (47–38)

The Cubs continue tumbling down the rankings—not because they're playing poorly, but because they finally remembered how to win.

After spending weeks near the top of the Cancun field, Chicago has climbed back into postseason relevance. It's one of the biggest second-half reversals we've ever seen in these rankings.

28. San Diego Padres (43–40)

The Padres remain baseball's ultimate wild card.

They continue alternating between looking like legitimate contenders and legitimate Cancun favorites, sometimes within the same inning. Consistency remains their biggest opponent.

29. Texas Rangers (43–42)

The Rangers continue moving in the wrong direction—for Cancun purposes.

After weeks of building an impressive résumé, they've unfortunately started playing respectable baseball again. Joc Pederson remains determined to carry this offense away from paradise.

30. Chicago White Sox (44–39)

The White Sox continue disappointing Cancun supporters.

Perhaps the most remarkable statistic of the season: the 2026 White Sox have already matched the franchise's combined win total from 2000 through 2025. Unfortunately for Cancun voters, competent baseball continues breaking out all over the South Side.

31. Tampa Bay Rays (48–33)

Things somehow went from bad to worse for the Rays' Cancun hopes.

Reliever Craig Kimbrel was designated for assignment after blowing a combined no-hitter with two outs remaining in the ninth inning against Kansas City.

As if that wasn't enough, infielder Junior Caminero received an 80-game PED suspension after launching a 4,463-foot home run against Arizona, setting yet another MLB record.

Ironically, even those bizarre storylines haven't been enough to overcome all the winning.

32. Milwaukee Brewers (51–31)

The Brewers remain one of baseball's least Cancun-ready clubs, although this week brought genuine uncertainty.

Milwaukee acquired Giannis Antetokounmpo from the Bucks, a move analysts can't quite decide helps or hurts their baseball team.

The bigger news came when ace Jacob Misiorowski was suspended 162 games following his second PED violation of the season, occurring shortly after he threw an MLB-record 115.5 mph fastball against the Cubs. The suspension sidelines him for the remainder of this season and the first half of next year.

That's a devastating loss... or an incredible Cancun opportunity. Time will tell.

33. Philadelphia Phillies (47–38)

The Phillies have completely destroyed what once looked like an elite Cancun campaign.

Kyle Schwarber continues doing everything in his power to keep Philadelphia away from paradise, becoming the first player in MLB history to hit 300 career home runs before July.

Then the Phillies somehow scored 155 runs in the ninth inning during their series against Washington, another MLB record.

Don Mattingly deserves enormous credit for ruining one of the best Cancun seasons in recent memory.

34. Los Angeles Dodgers (55–30)

Dead last. Once again. The Dodgers continue making a complete mockery of the Cancun process.

After designating Shohei Ohtani for assignment and later designating Mookie Betts for assignment earlier this month (then deciding to keep both), Los Angeles somehow topped itself again by signing Pikachu to a long-term contract.

Catcher Dalton Rushing was also optioned to Triple-A Oklahoma City after reportedly getting into an argument with teammate Shohei Ohtani over ABS challenge strategy.

None of it matters. The Dodgers keep winning baseball games, collecting stars, and somehow remain favorites for basically every championship on Earth.

They remain the team least likely to see Cancun.

Final Thoughts

Three months into the season, one thing has become abundantly clear:

Nobody is catching North Japan.

Behind them, however, the race has become complete chaos. The Royals have surged into championship contention. The Mest continue turning dysfunction into an art form. The Rockies, Angels, Padres and Braves have all made massive moves, while clubs like the Marlins, Phillies and Dodgers have completely sabotaged their Cancun dreams by accidentally becoming good at baseball.

With the All-Star break approaching, expect even more movement.

After all, nobody tanks quite like a team that realizes October baseball is no longer an option.

Who's too high? Who's too low? Which team will make the biggest Cancun jump before the trade deadline? Let us know in the comments.