Yankees Fire Aaron Boone, Hire Squirrel as Manager

Fax Sports
Aug 23
2 min read

Updated: Aug 27

Split image of a squirrel and Aaron Boone in New York Yankees caps with text below: "Confused Bronx Squirrel to Replace Aaron Boone as Yankees Manager." FAX Sports and Yankees logos visible.

BRONX, NY - In one of the most bizarre front-office decisions in baseball history, the New York Yankees have fired manager Aaron Boone and hired… a squirrel. Yes, the very same squirrel that darted across the field during last night’s Yankees–Red Sox game in the Bronx has been named the 36th manager in franchise history.

MLB insider Jeff Passan broke the news with a tweet that immediately went viral:

Tweet from Jeff Passan about Yankees firing Aaron Boone, humorously hiring a squirrel for its energy and instincts. Text conveys surprise.

Boone’s Reaction

A visibly shocked Aaron Boone spoke briefly after the announcement:

“I’ve been fired before in this game, but to lose my job to a squirrel? That’s a first. I guess the front office saw something in him I didn’t.”

What We Know About the Squirrel

Name: Unreleased (but known around Yankee Stadium simply as The Bronx Squirrel)
Age: 3 years old
Hometown: Bronx, NY
Notable Skills: lightning-fast instincts, uncanny energy, ability to dodge traps and grounds crew nets, a fearlessness under pressure.
Managerial Style: Silent but decisive. Prefers signals, stares, and occasional tail flicks.
Favorite Snack: Peanuts (front office officials say negotiations were “complicated”).

Yankees Players React to Squirrel

Aaron Judge couldn’t hide his excitement:

“The guy’s got speed, he’s got instincts, he’s got grit. Honestly, I’d run through a wall for that squirrel.”

Max Fried added,

“I’ve never seen leadership like that from a rodent. If he can handle the pressure of Fenway and Yankee Stadium, he can handle October.”

Jazz Chisholm Jr. chimed in,

“This is the kind of chaos the Yankees needed. I’m all in.”

Yankees Twitter Explodes

Popular Yankee fan accounts lit up with joy:

@BronxBmbrz: “Finally, a manager who won’t overmanage the bullpen. Nuts.”
@sondraa: “Boone couldn’t dodge elimination games. The squirrel can.”
@JoezMcfLy: “The best hire since Joe Torre. Don’t @ me.”

Projected Impact

Vegas hasn’t adjusted the odds yet, but Yankee fans are already convinced this bold hire will change everything. Analysts project the Yankees will surge into October play with renewed energy, per Statfax projections.

Why? Because the Bronx Squirrel represents everything the Yankees have been missing: hustle, instincts, and the ability to make quick decisions under pressure. Plus, unlike Aaron Boone, he won’t waste challenges—he’ll just scurry out and steal them.

The Bottom Line

The Yankees have made plenty of wild moves in their storied history. But replacing Aaron Boone with a three-year-old Bronx squirrel? That’s not just wild—it’s nuts.