Anthony Volpe Sets MLB Record for Worst Slump Ever: 1-322 in August
- Fax Sports
- 3 days ago
- 2 min read
BRONX - Yankees shortstop Anthony Volpe has found himself in the history books for all the wrong reasons. According to Statfax, Volpe just set an MLB record for the worst slump ever by a hitter, going 1-for-322 in the month of August.
The run of futility includes three separate games that Statfax insists are somehow official: an 0-for-20, an 0-for-35, and a jaw-dropping 0-for-47.
This “accomplishment” breaks the previous record of 1-for-321, set earlier this season by Dodgers outfielder Michael Conforto.
Boone Staying Positive
Despite the slump, Yankees manager Aaron Boone refused to panic when asked about Volpe’s struggles.
“September is right in front of him,” Boone said. “The kid’s got great makeup, and you can’t measure heart on Statfax.”
Volpe’s Reaction
Volpe, for his part, admitted even he was stunned.
“Surprised I’m not in Cancun yet,” the shortstop said, referencing the unofficial vacation spot for struggling teams and players.
Desperate Attempts to Break the Slump
Sources say Volpe has tried everything imaginable to snap out of it, including:
DM’ing Derek Jeter on Instagram – multiple times, sometimes just sending the word “help” at 3 a.m.
Betting against himself on DraftKings fantasy – he reportedly hoped this would “screw with the baseball gods.”
Using Aaron Judge’s bat – the result was a 600-foot foul ball that still somehow didn’t count as a hit.
Experimenting with torpedo bats – Statfax confirmed Volpe went 0-for-19 with the submarine-shaped lumber.
Eating ketchup hot dogs before games – a last-ditch superstition that only made things worse (for his stomach and batting average).
Vegas Weighs In
Vegas Sportsbook has now posted official odds on Volpe’s slump becoming eternal:
Hitless the rest of the season: +250
Breaks out with a multi-hit game: +1000
Cancun by October: LOCK
The Yankees insist they’re standing behind their young shortstop, but after a 1-for-322 August, even Statfax computers are starting to ask if this is a glitch.