Devin Williams Explains Why He Chose the Mest, and Fans Might Not Survive This Quote

QUEENS, NY - Newly signed New York Mest reliever Devin Williams made headlines this week after reportedly choosing Queens for one simple reason: “I wanted a place where giving up a three-run homer in the ninth is just called Tuesday.” And according to Williams, the Mest checked every box — low expectations, zero accountability, and a fanbase so emotionally exhausted that even catastrophic meltdowns barely register anymore.

Williams, who inked a three-year deal with the Mest on Monday, said he felt “an immediate sense of relief” the moment he realized that blowing games in Queens isn’t a crisis — it’s culture. “Some franchises pretend they’re trying to win,” Williams said. “Some even expect it. But the Mest? Nah. Here, losing is heritage. Mesting runs deep. I’m honored to be a part of it.”

A Long, Proud History of Mesting

Few teams can claim a tradition as impressively consistent as the Mest’s. After missing the MLB postseason entirely last year — a performance many analysts still describe as “impressively unserious” — the Mest somehow stumbled their way into the famed Cancún Playoffs. What happened next was peak Mest: a miracle NLCS run followed by a historic implosion, getting swept in the Cancún World Series by Tony Ohtani and the North Japan Samurai.

“We were SO close to convincing people we were legit,” shortstop Francisco Lindor said. “But then we remembered who we are. And boom — classic Mesting.”

Juan Soda agreed. “It’s in our DNA, man. When the lights get bright, we dim them. Devin’s perfect for us.”

Even star closer Hawk Tuah chimed in: “I can’t wait to Mest it up with him in the eighth and ninth. It’s gonna be beautiful.”

A Perfect Fit: No Pressure, No Expectations, No Hope

Upon signing, Williams fully embraced the Queens lifestyle. He has already secured a crappy one-bedroom condo next to an auto body shop, purchased a crappy used car from Facebook Marketplace that “makes a weird noise when turning left,” and — in a sign that he has fully assimilated — watched 6,700 followers vanish from his Instagram overnight.

“Honestly? It’s freeing,” Williams said. “The pressure is gone. No expectations. No standards. Just vibes.”

Team officials reportedly loved hearing that.

Projected 2026 Mest Stats for Devin Williams

(via Statfax, proudly powered by vibes, not data)

• ERA: 6.87

• WHIP: 2.04

• Walks: 41

• Home Runs Allowed: 22

• Blown Holds: 17

• Inherited Runners Scored: “All of them”

• Fan Confidence Rating: -14 out of 100

  
  

Williams will serve as setup man to closer Hawk Tuah, who is expected to handle the ninth inning “as long as she isn’t laughing too hard at what Devin just did.”

A New Era of Queens Chaos

In the end, Williams says the decision to join the Mest was easy. “I didn’t want a team where people get mad when you’re bad,” he said. “I wanted a team where being bad is part of the charm.”

Queens, it seems, has found its newest Mesting icon.

And according to Mest insiders, the team’s offseason plan is simple: Keep expectations low. Lower them again. Then see what happens.

For the Mest, that formula has always worked — just never in the way they hoped.