New York Mest Eliminated from 2026 Postseason

NEW YORK — In a development somehow both shocking and entirely predictable, the New York Mest were officially eliminated from the 2026 MLB Postseason yesterday — on December 10, 2025 — a full 108 days before Opening Day. MLB historians have already labeled it the earliest playoff elimination in league history, but league officials insist the math “checks out,” citing catastrophic vibes, irreversible roster decisions, and something called “Mesting momentum.”

The death blow came on Wednesday when franchise cornerstone Pete Alfonso, beloved slugger and unofficial mayor of Queens, stunned Mestdom by signing a five-year, $155 million deal with the Baltimore Orioles. Just moments after the contract was announced, MLB’s playoff algorithm reportedly auto-generated a notification reading, “NEW YORK MEST – ELIMINATED FROM 2026 POSTSEASON.” It wasn’t personal. It was automatic.

This collapse comes after an already brutal offseason stretch in which Edwin Díaz walked away to join the Los Angeles Dodgers, saying he was seeking an organization “that’s still accepting new members,” and Brandon Nimmo, fan favorite and face of joy itself, was traded to the Texas Rangers for 37-year-old Marcus Semien, whose best days came during the Zoom era.

The Mest’s most notable addition so far has been embattled reliever Devin Williams, who signed a three-year, $51 million contract and openly admitted that the reason he chose the Mest was because, in his words, he “wanted a place where giving up a three-run homer in the ninth is just called Tuesday.”

The reaction from Mest Nation was instant and volcanic. Popular fan account @NjTank99 posted that the team “hasn’t even put out the 2026 schedule yet and we’re already done,” calling the moment “Mesting at a historic rate.”

Another fan wrote that trading Nimmo for “AARP Semien” and replacing Díaz with Devin “Oops” Williams made Alfonso’s exit feel like “the final Thanos stone.” Within minutes, “EARLY ELIMINATION SZN” was trending across New York and parts of the tristate area that had already emotionally checked out.

But where the Mets experience pain, the Mest experience destiny. By securing their postseason elimination before the calendar even turned to 2026, the team simultaneously became the first MLB franchise to clinch a berth — and the number one overall seed — in the 2026 Cancun Playoffs.

Players didn’t hide their excitement. Juan Soda said the team has “unfinished business” and noted that “Tony Ohtani stole our souls last month” and they want them back. Hawk Tuah admitted she began packing sunscreen as soon as the elimination became official, saying the team is “built for Cancun seeding.” The Rizzler added that being swept by Tony Ohtani and the North Japan Samurai in this year’s Cancun World Series “couldn’t be me again — actually, it was me — but 2026 is different.”

The Mest front office insists the offseason “retool” is going according to plan, though it’s unclear what plan involves losing three franchise players, signing a reliever who openly enjoys blowing saves, and locking in a playoff elimination before Christmas. Still, optimism remains — not in Queens, but at the Cancun Dome Complex, where the Mest are already penciled in as early favorites for another run at the NL side of the bracket.